Hire Me

Pregnant lady with poor social skills seeks creative, meaningful work where she will not have to attend meetings, interact with co-workers, present to clients or email anybody at all. A talented writer, artist, and designer she lacks the motivation to finish most projects and would prefer not to alter anything to accommodate the client's comments. A terrible manager, she has extensive experience redoing subordinates work so she is not forced to mentor them -- or even speak to to them at all. If a new version of software is introduced she is unlikely to learn the features. She finds the small vintage toys that decorate your desk trite and does not want to hear about your new Mac. If hired, she will soon go on pregnancy leave, never to return.